Venting.

  So if you are having a good day you should just leave my bloggy thingy because I am pissed off and I am gonna be complaining a whole bunch. 

 That being said, I woke up this morning and just knew today was gonna be an iffy day. Now I wanna start with that I wont be talking shit about anyone. I wont try to make you all be on my side. I think the problem Im having today is completely fixable but maybe we just shouldnt live where we live. Maybe the saying is true that you just cant live with anyone else once you are married. I know Im starting to feel that way. I want my own space I want to do things my way and not have to worry about other people in the house. And its completely possible that I am taking things way more serious than they actually are. I dont wanna have to live somewhere where there is tension, no matter who its between the rest of the house feels it and the rest of us suffer. So instead of stewing and getting mad and waiting to see how this turns out tonight I was proactive and started applying for jobs, I found an apartment who will possibly lease to my hubby and i on what we make now and we would just have to take the bus to work and what not. And if my car can either get fixed quickly or at this point maybe selling it is the better option and just getting a crappy commuter car would be the way to go...Im ok with not getting to do all the things we always wanna do, or maybe eating crappy food for a bit to just get out of the tension we are in. It could be helpful for everyone involved if we didnt live here. I guess I'll know for sure tonight but I hate waiting for that time to get here. I hate dreading it all day and having it put me in a bad mood with everyone else because I have no idea what the outcome will be all I can say is maybe it would be the best for everyone involved if we lived at our own apartment and came to visit the people we live with. I love them all so much that the thought of not living with them makes me wanna cry but at the same time it might ease the tension if we had our own space and they had theirs. 
  On a happier note i am fixing things.

Driving home

   So today while I was driving home from dropping off Isaiah I passed this houses that was for rent and all I could thinking about was I cannot wait until he and I can afford our own place so that we can start that part of our lives. Not because where we live isn't amazing more because we're about to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary and by our 5th one I want to have an apartment and be settled into living there. It got me thinking to what I had to do to make that happen and what comes next in our adventure. He has a full time job already, its me holding us back. A part of that is because I wanted to put off school until A) my car was running again so that I wouldn't have to worry about making sure I knew a bus schedule or had a ride and B) I didn't want to start school before I knew what his plan was for his future. Heck I don't even have a clue what I would study in school. I know a small office type would be ideal. I don't really care what I do I just don't wanna be constantly worrying about money. I'd like to be able to plan a vacation or get a tattoo without having to worry about food or bills. So whatever job lets me do that would be awesome. Maybe I'll look into online schools, maybe they have one for "can't always get to class and would love an education in something office-like so I don't get sick all the time" You think if I typed that into google something would pop up??? .....Yeah I didnt think so either. 
  On a completely different note I am kinda frustrated with people in my life. (seems like thats always the case huh?) I guess what I am having a hard time with is that there was a stupid fight with someone and now we havent spoken in a bit and I miss them but I also dont want to be the one to text or call first. =/ Clearly they arent missing me at all. And as much as I am pretending it doesnt bother me and doesnt make me crazy that we arent talking it does. I think of 100 things a day I want to tell them and they arent there to talk to. I guess it says a lot about our relationship huh? I mean I am too stubborn to reach out and they either dont care or well thats probably it exactly. I guess its not such a big deal, they probably arent thinking of me at all so why should I waste the energy on being mad or hurt at them...I am way to sensitive for my own good...Makes me wanna text them now but I dont see the point they'll probably just ignore me. God being a girl is tough lol. HARRY POTTER TONIGHT!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Harry Potter

   In less than a week my childhood will officially be over. The final Harry Potter film will be released and boy I am sad. It better be mind blowing. I hate that I am so excited about it and that I know deep down that movies never live up to the amazing-ness of the books. I can't imagine being this excited about any other movie in my whole life. I want it to be the 15th already! I wanna see it and I wanna see it as many times as my little wallet will let me! Which will probably be once. But hey a girl can dream right?! 
   Ugh I have my specialist appointment on Monday and I just wanna get it over with. They'll probably have me do blood work and boring stuff. I have to remember to do the glucose stuff when I get back home too otherwise my doctor might actually kill me. I really need to start going back to the gym. No use paying for it when I am not going and I'd like to tone a few areas before I finish my side tattoo so I can start on my next one! OMG I WANT ONE SOOOO BAD! It is definitely tough living on a tiny budget. BUT my dad says his friend is gonna come check out my car this friday and I am reallllllllly hoping its gonna get fixed soon because I MISS MY CAR! She is so sad looking all parked outside my dads house with no love and no loud music pumping out of her speakers. And my amazing gas mileage and the cutesy green color it is. Now a few years ago I hated this car I wanted something so much cooler but its been over a year since Ive driven her and I am missing my car soooo bad! She is such a great little car and has always taken car of me. I need to get her running again! Make her all pretty and happy =) My sisters left for Kansas on the 6th and it has been the longest 3 days everrrrrrr! I miss them like crazy even though we drive each other crazy lol. I am glad they are having fun though! Ok I am going to return to my Harry Potter marathon. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!